Marriage is obviously the biggest commitment we'll make in our lives (at least for most of us). Transitioning periods puts the marriage in a tough place, but let's work through the problem, here.
Engagement
For me, I really enjoy courting my fiancé. We knew very early on that we were going to marry each other, but we decided to take our time and just enjoy each others' company before the craziness of wedding planning.
Though I say we "took our time", we'll actually be engaged for longer than we were courting beforehand. We courted for five months before we got engaged, and we'll be engaged for seven months. It's a good thing we're patient.
Our engagement has certainly been stressful, but I've loved getting to make some big decisions with my fiancé. They aren't as big as deciding what house we want to live in, but we have already made arrangements to sell a car and purchase a car before the wedding.
This time is meant for us to prepare for each other. Our entire lives up to this point have been focused on meeting our own needs now, so we can meet our future family's needs later. We are now beginning the time to meet the future family's needs. This time has been great practice for me to start merging my mindset and desires with my almost-husband.
I'm preparing to not just think about one person's needs, now I'll have to consider two people's needs. This is a transition all couples should consider in order to transition into a satisfying marriage.
Initial Marriage
This time can be both the happiest and most struggling time in a marriage. This is the true result of comparing each personality with the other to see how well both people can work together. Compatibility is crucial when initially choosing a spouse.
This is a very special time. This is where you have the ability to show how you truly love your spouse and you can be very physically and emotionally intimate. Vulnerability and honesty are key traits at the beginning of the marriage relationship. At this part of the marriage, this is a great time to get settled into some healthy habits with each other. Establish some rituals to enjoy your time together, each of you get comfortable in a role to compliment the other partner.
Certainly, I'm looking most forward to this stage. I can't wait to establish a solid foundation with my husband and build off of it for the rest of our lives and eternity. I feel so safe and secure with him, I can't wait to have the chance to be with him more often.
The First Child
After a little while of simply enjoying each other's company, a child comes into the picture. For many couples, the satisfaction levels in their marriage decrease. The goal is to find the subtle, but meaningful ways to work together as a team even more.
The mom usually tends to feel less acknowledged by the husband because he withdraws from not feeling loved by the wife, tending to the baby. It just goes in circles! Keep up the love and the spark you developed and include each other in everything, especially feelings and goals.
I'm going to write this again, work together as a team. Every task shouldn't be designated to one person because it's "their role, not yours". Really, the only role that shouldn't interchange between the partners is who goes to work and earns most of the money, that's something that is a hard adjustment. If there is a need to reconsider who goes to work and who stays home with the newborn, certainly discuss the topic.
Get ready, life gets extra busy and tiring during this stage and the next...
2+ Children
From this point, on, the teamwork and compatibility has never been more important. The key is to keep building upon what you have and what you know. As more kids come along, keep the main goal in mind: to maintain high satisfaction levels in the marriage, you'll have this mastered in no time!
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