Knowing when to put your foot down and when to let your child learn a lesson through natural consequences can be hard to determine.
Finding a balance
I'm sure a lot of us are familiar with the types of parenting: authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and non-involved.
For those who don't know these terms, I'll give a brief summary.
Authoritarian: strict, aren't warm toward children, children fear this parent
Permissive: parents don't have guidelines/restrictions, kids fend for themselves
Authoritative: respond to child's emotional needs while still setting high standards
Non-involved: parents aren't really present and aren't emotionally involved either
The parenting to strive for the most is the authoritative style of parenting. There comes a balance of setting guidelines to fulfill strict standards for the children, but they do so in a loving and empathetic way. There is a balance between the two concepts. Overall, be lovingly encouraging.
Saying no
Saying no to your kids is not always as simple as saying no. There are obvious times of when to say no, but there are some not-so-obvious times as well. Letting the natural consequences unfold may be the better lesson the child could learn in comparison to simply saying no.
Sometimes, parents may have a tendency to say no, but not explain why they said no to a child over something. Other times, the parents allow the child to make their own decision, but they don't explain the consequences following each choice. If you say no, explain to your children why you said no and please, make sure it's a solid reason.
Siblings
In a study about understanding sibilings' relationships conducted by BYU, Professor Laura Padilla-Walker finds that when it comes to the relationship, “An absence of affection seems to be a bigger problem than high levels of conflict.”
The study continued saying that siblings matter in such a way that their influence on the other siblings can be more influential than the parents at times. If this doesn't make you think about how you act and the example you are on your siblings, you are so wrong.
Sisters specifically help their siblings from feelings of loneliness, unlove, guilt, self-consciousness, and fear. Siblings' relationships with affection promotes good deeds in the other siblings and can be twice as influential compared to the parents.
Feel free to search for more research on the influences and relationships between siblings. It's fascinating.
My biggest goal
Growing up, I rarely ever saw either of my parents ever admit to being wrong to me when they behaved out of line toward me. I want my future children to understand that I am human just as much as them. I want to learn and grow with my children. I'll know a few more things than them, but not much. I want my children to see that I'm not perfect and that I want to learn and grow just as much as them.
We'll have to find out if that is the case! I want to teach as Heavenly Father teaches and love as Heavenly Father loves. He is our greatest example of a parent.
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