Everyone's Favorite Topic: Communication

I say that communication is everyone's favorite topic because we all have different views of how to properly communicate. A good majority of us are right in many elements, which is why many people are happy with various relationships.

In effective communication, the best thing to do is be all EAR(s).

E=Empathy

Start with beginning to understand how the other person is feeling. Try to find some truth and how they reasoned to find their answer. They might have a completely invalid argument, but allowing some room for common ground and an even playing level emotionally helps both of you be more reasonable moving forward in the discussion.

Attempting to view things as they do helps tensions to lower because you view them as a person rather than a nuisance. Seeing them as an individual person with feelings and agency helps change your view and approach to the conversation at hand.

When the other person expresses how they feel, acknowledge those feelings and paraphrase their words. Doing this enables a chance for clarification if needed and it's meant to ensure there's no chance for miscommunication.

As a recipient of the message, you can ask clarifying questions to further validate the other. This also shows the other that you are invested in what they have to say and how they feel.

A=Assertiveness

This is where it gets tricky. We all want to express (and should express) our emotions, but if we don't convey the message with the proper approach, the entire relationship could spiral into turmoil.

Feel free to be a little more blunt than normal in a serious discussion. Again, watch what you say, but be frank. In order for you and your partner to solve a problem, you have to get to the honest, bottom of it.

Always stay from phrases similar to, "You never..." or "You always..." or "You're wrong." The point is to honestly express emotion directly without directing it toward the other person. You have a right to be heard.

R=Respect

The balance comes when trying to accurately express your feelings while not attacking the other person by criticizing their behavior or their way of being.

If there is no respect in a conversation, you're not going to get anywhere. Both of you will leave just as angry or as sad as you were before you started the conversation, probably worse than before.

As I said before, view the other person for what they are, a person. Don't simply view them as a nuisance. Learn ways to develop respect for that person.

I'm all EAR(s)

The concern of the matter is to concentrate on solving the problem. My dad always told me that in a relationship, it's not about who's right, but finding what's right to do. I love that concept because that's something to keep in mind for every interaction. We'll always be proved wrong, but we then have to find what's right to fix it.