The goal is to be fulfilled. Satisfaction is crucial, but it's more fulfilling in certain ways.
Engagement
Let me be clear. I am still definitely a virgin. I'm engaged, but I really have no experience with this topic yet. I'm going off of what studies have shown and what I have learned from my marriage education classes and readings assigned for those classes as well.
Though I am engaged, this is good practice for me. I'm, honestly, glad that I've gained a lot of knowledge regarding this topic and other topics within the context of a marriage. It has allowed me to internalize these topics and have something to implement when I get this opportunity soon.
Something well-known
I could go into four or five (depending on which practitioner the reader is learning the concept from) stages of sexual intimacy, but this is all a concept, except for maybe those younger than 10 years old, we are all very familiar with.
Though this is something familiar to so many people, it can be such a misperceived concept. I once learned from an online source (I would specify if I could, but I'm not sure where to find it) that when you share that emotional bond and intimacy with someone, they take a part of you emotionally. The more people you choose to be casual with, or even if you are in love and in a serious relationship with them, the more you allow yourself to be broken off emotionally. Various people that you've had sexual intercourse with take a bit of you with them and vice versa.
I don't know how accurate this is, but I'd like to believe that if it may not be entirely true, that there is a good portion of it that is true, anyway.
Though the majority of the world has lost their virginity at one point or another, not many people choose to educate themselves on this topic. They assume it's something that doesn't take much learning to do, when in fact, there is much to learn and understand about the human body and human responses before starting for the first time.
The need for intimacy
Studies have shown that humans need this sense of intimacy, but that doesn't always mean sexual intimacy.
The book, Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, explains that we need intimacy as human beings to be mentally healthy and stable. Though this is true, we do not have to have that sexual intimacy to survive or to have mental stability.
However, that doesn't mean that it is any lesser part of the Plan of Happiness and what joy comes from having special and emotional intimacy with your spouse (and your spouse only).
Mindset
If there is one, generally, common desire among humans, it's the desire to have someone be "yours". Most everyone wants a romantic partner, but we all know there's more to it than just being interested or in love with each other.
What makes a satisfying sexual relationship is all found in the mindset. This really applies to anything in life, but we'll focus on the sexual aspect between two people for now.
Beginning intimacy with the "Good Enough" approach is how you want to start. The "Good Enough" approach is the idea of being able to enjoy sex with your spouse, but not having to feel like every experience is going to be absolutely extravagant. Sex is special, don't get me wrong. But sometimes, it's not always what Hollywood makes it out to be. Going into it making your time together so you're both satisfied enough and had a happy time together is the goal.
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