Biggest takeaway: be what you want to find.
Marriage Prep.
Though it's a common concept to become a good, confident person before you find a spouse, it's not engrained in a lot of people. I'm coining a new term, let's call it Self Prep.
Self prep, though it may seem obvious, includes spending some time with yourself! Go live on your own, attend social interactions by yourself to build confidence, go on a date with someone you don't know very well, the key here to accomplish things on your own.
Marriage preparation really means finding your best self first. Too many people "settle" for less even when they don't realize they "settle". Dating around, casually, helps to prevent this from occurring.
Dating
Really, this is a topic I should write on in an entirely other blog post, but I'll try to summarize as best as I can.
This gets me fired up every time, please don't say no to someone simply because you're not interested in the person.
I have a close family member that says no to dates quite often. When they are asked on a date, which doesn't happen often for them, they say no because it is someone they aren't attracted to from the first interaction with them.
This is a mistake. There is such thing as casual dating. Part of self prep involves pursuing something of interest and learning to accept what comes your way with a sense of control and excitement.
Taken out of context, that last sentence could lead down a path you'll want to avoid. Let me clarify through an example.
Golfing
Early in my college career, I met a friend with whom I had no intimate feelings, but we became friends very quickly. He joined the golf team in high school and often golfed with some of those teammates, especially since they were best friends.
I became interested in learning the sport, every time he told me he came back from the fairway that day, I became more and more curious.
On a trip to Utah, we decided to take an opportunity my dad offered; we decided to go golfing free of charge at the local Top Golf venue. My friend showed me some swings and recalling what I've seen from various sources in my life, I applied what I learned. He told me I could have easily attended the statewide competition, had I joined the golf team where he attended school.
The point of the story is this: though I had no feelings for this friend of mine, I was curious to learn something new, and through the process of this casual date, I was able to learn something I'd been interested in learning.
Casual dating is meant to be something to enjoy some company while you do an activity the both of you might enjoy in the end. Learning new skills (social skills and/or skills developed through various activities) develops some self prep in you.
More on Self Prep
Aside from dating, self prep is meant to prepare you for.... you! That's it! You prepare yourself for the life you have ahead of you, including marriage.
Feeling confident and being confident attracts what you want. You want to find a confident spouse? You have to be one yourself. You want a spouse that is kind to and mindful of others? You have to be that yourself, too. Don't have a "list" of qualities to check off when you begin dating someone, develop the items on that list first, then someone like you will be attracted to you. In this case, similarities attract, rather than repel.
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